i feel sad since last night. i wanted to blog this on my blogdrive but its too mushy and i guess i want to stay low, away from the world.

the thought of board exam review and being away in UP is killing me. i know i have to accept the changes but i guess im not ready, not yet, not now.

im scared again. to see myself alone in the dusty and polluted walks of morayta. i dont want to be alone. i want to be with my friends, to experience friendship.

but i have to walk alone, because this is my journey. ill not be with them always. ill not be in UP forever. i have to move on.

but its killing me to death. i can feel my heart swelling with pain. when i saw bcel, peps, charm and the twins yesterday at the metal box. we were laughing out loud at joel's hirits. i love the feeling of being with them and enjoying their company. but deep inside, i was hurting. becasue i know i wont be with them as much as i wanted to.

i wont see them as often as before...and now, everytime i;ll see them, i know they will fill me with their stories, stories i long to witness with my own eyes, but i cant because im not with them anymore.

man..letting go. ang hirap.

i'm also feeling depressed and a bit impatient because i want to control something, but i cant...and its hard to trust when all around you says that you have to give up. (this, by the way is another story)