sadness and frustrations
Posted by jampot at 11:45 AM on November 10, 2004.
i feel sad since last night. i wanted to blog this on my blogdrive but its too mushy and i guess i want to stay low, away from the world.
the thought of board exam review and being away in UP is killing me. i know i have to accept the changes but i guess im not ready, not yet, not now.
im scared again. to see myself alone in the dusty and polluted walks of morayta. i dont want to be alone. i want to be with my friends, to experience friendship.
but i have to walk alone, because this is my journey. ill not be with them always. ill not be in UP forever. i have to move on.
but its killing me to death. i can feel my heart swelling with pain. when i saw bcel, peps, charm and the twins yesterday at the metal box. we were laughing out loud at joel's hirits. i love the feeling of being with them and enjoying their company. but deep inside, i was hurting. becasue i know i wont be with them as much as i wanted to.
i wont see them as often as before...and now, everytime i;ll see them, i know they will fill me with their stories, stories i long to witness with my own eyes, but i cant because im not with them anymore.
man..letting go. ang hirap.
i'm also feeling depressed and a bit impatient because i want to control something, but i cant...and its hard to trust when all around you says that you have to give up. (this, by the way is another story)
the thought of board exam review and being away in UP is killing me. i know i have to accept the changes but i guess im not ready, not yet, not now.
im scared again. to see myself alone in the dusty and polluted walks of morayta. i dont want to be alone. i want to be with my friends, to experience friendship.
but i have to walk alone, because this is my journey. ill not be with them always. ill not be in UP forever. i have to move on.
but its killing me to death. i can feel my heart swelling with pain. when i saw bcel, peps, charm and the twins yesterday at the metal box. we were laughing out loud at joel's hirits. i love the feeling of being with them and enjoying their company. but deep inside, i was hurting. becasue i know i wont be with them as much as i wanted to.
i wont see them as often as before...and now, everytime i;ll see them, i know they will fill me with their stories, stories i long to witness with my own eyes, but i cant because im not with them anymore.
man..letting go. ang hirap.
i'm also feeling depressed and a bit impatient because i want to control something, but i cant...and its hard to trust when all around you says that you have to give up. (this, by the way is another story)